Archive for December, 2012

I’ll Trade THIS…


I’ll trade this hate for LOVE…
I’ll turn your verbal abuses into any word that means LOVE.
I’ll take each and every lash of NO REASON and foist
a HUG onto anyone that truly needs such instead.
I’ll mark each bruise given with a gentle KISS placed in random
successions of making MY intended HEALED.

I’ll trade your hate for Understanding…
I’ll divine the meaning of an action, taking account of the WHY.
I’ll create a patience to winnow the parasites away from a life
confused by others’ gravitations.
I’ll recycle the false energies that would rather destroy, by turning
those into cartoons of the inceptionists.

I’ll trade MY fear for HOPE.
I’ll disburse the gremlins to the farthest regions
where they can starve slowly on a diet of themselves.
I’ll gather the ashes of my dreams to fertilize a new garden
designed to grow “THE WISER”.

I’ll continue to jot the notes about the PATIENT willing to suffer the
extensive treatments administered by their OWN prescription of
I’ll strap the electrodes of removals onto my wants and desires,
so that the a complete success IS rendered.

I’ll be willing to continue this TASK.
I’ll do it because YOU CAN’T. OR WON’T.
I’ll tempt you with a proof of success…
when you prove that you CAN UNDERSTAND
and BEGIN your OWN treatments…
when YOU can learn THE LOVE.
There are “some” that are “knock-offs” of the “ADAM LANZA’S”
across this world. Those that choose to FIGHT against the coddlings
and rend the urges into some corner of the “self” should be LAUDED!
For “WE” continue to shun the costume of “MONSTER” while those
pretending to “LOVE” and “PROTECT” are merely cutting and pasting the “costume” over time. AND, “SOME” get to see the “costume” rot.

How others see half of me.

I’ve run out of all the options
no “Sayer” to fetch the gift
the chance has passed
lick the empty glass
acceptance IS the got’cha

The future whispered to me
Tumescence was my reply
the scramble to replenish
wore thin most every ply

To gleaner I’ve accomplished
no fall “FROM” grace was this
I know the few, the mes, the yous
God’s proper Diamond grist

Ours was to gather wonder
and file it in our LIFE
though we have stashed thought’s plunders
we guard it through our strifes

Off guard, the doctors test us
their job, to seal the BOLT
sweet Mengeles will dust MORE fuzz
their height is TOME-filled Golds

So, here I sit, just waiting
the noose is sliding down
the make-up over brilliance
will hide most any Clown.
I had to go and get ‘evaluated’ by a “GUB-MINT” approved PSYCH-Retractic Doctor the other day. I haven’t done so in about THREE YEARS(!).The diagnosis was O.C.D. AND ‘NARCISSISTIC’… I’ve tried to get the hospital to release these findings to ME but, as yet, NADDA.
The name on the form was that of MALE… NOT THE CASE! Dr. MEYER was not “fetching”, not one of the “LEE”Sisters, (That would be “UGGH”-LEE.), not one you’d fawn over. But she was wonderful to keep eye contact with. When I walked into the office I was greeted by a Woman that told of trying to look like Stevie Nicks,( Fleetwood Mac), when I told her that I’d been a “stagehand” for thirty, plus, years.
Getting back to the Doctor, her pleasantry was guarded, C.L.I.N.I.C.A.L., I didn’t help much. I talk in “circles”, the “story” gets told but, with a lot of side cul-de-sacs. The event was EU-QUE’ until she got a tad perturbed that I “HADN’T” mentioned “ANY” TREATMENT for my FORMER Cocaine addiction. WHY doesn’t a STATE certified Mental “HEALTH” expert know of organizations that have acronyms like A.R.C.( Salvation Army for ADULT REHABILITATION CENTER.), or to “NOT” have heard “I spent a YEAR and THREE MONTHS getting Clean and Sober at the “SALLY” when the term is usually NINE MONTHS”.
I’ve spent a GREAT DEAL of time PROTECTING MY SELF from turning BACK to THAT direction. And SHE is irked at HER missed “TEST”! The “visit” ended with the notification that it would be a couple days for her to return her “views”. Weeks (!?!) more until “COWIC” could Help me with my job search. When I walked to the entrance with my written evaluational paperwork the “kindly” receptionist of entry had turned into “MISSUS BRUSQUEMORE”.

I guess the MORAL of this is that in order to KEEP folks FROM PUSHING “YOUR” BUTTONS, one MUST STOP showing the careless / care-less your “KEYBOARD”. The diagnostics and “repair” fees are staggering… because there IS NO REPLACEMENT “PART” for YOU.